Thrivers License

Imagine you have a rose bush in your backyard. It blooms every year but isn’t really doing much of anything else. It looks okay, but certainly could do a lot better with some proper care.

Now imagine yourself joyfully attending to the rose bush. Feel the texture of the soil in your hands. Relish in the love you have for life.

That is the difference between surviving and thriving!

Does this describe your life?

Can you imagine you joyfully attending to you? Loving you? Feeling passionate about yourself?

Some people are content just surviving because they cannot see their lives any differently then it is today. That does not describe you, or else you would not be reading this. Up until now you have been allowing life to work you instead of you working life. All that is about to change.

And, trust me, when I say “working life” I do not mean hard core manual labor. I mean you sitting in the driver’s seat of your life and making it go in the direction you want.

Huge difference… can you even fathom how satisfied you would feel if you were in complete control? You are closer then you think.

So what things do you need to do differently to go from surviving to thriving? Try these confidence boosters:

Do something just for you

Go buy something – it doesn’t have to be expensive, but it as to make you feel fabulous.

Grab a fantastic pair of underwear. Women in particular ooze confidence when they are wearing something sexy even if it’s under an old ripped sweat shirt. Several years ago when I was working for a large multinational corporation in Manhattan, my boss told me his wife goes out and gets herself a hot set of matching bra and panties whenever she had a major presentation to give, just because it gave her a huge boost of confidence.

Clean Out Your Closets

Funny thing about life… when we get rid of that which does not serve us, that space is filled with something else. Nature abhors a vacuum. When you remove things, people, feelings that do not help you with the intention of filling that new space with something better, that is exactly what happens.

Go through your closet and remove anything that does not fit, anything that does not reflect “you”, anything that you have not worn in 2 years. Give it all away, as that will also help you to feel abundant.

Surround yourself with fabulous people

We all need a circle of friends and contacts that support us in our goal towards Thriving in life. I suggest that you include an accountant and a lawyer in that circle, as in your thriving life you will most likely end up starting your own business or creating an income stream for yourself that will require them. Plus, in all honesty, it gives you one less thing to think about. You have enough to do, let someone else crunch the numbers.

Most importantly, surround yourself with people who truly believe in you. It is no secret that when your husband, wife, life-partner, parent or sibling does not believe in your goals, you tend to falter in achieving them. Why does this happen? When someone close to you does not believe that you are capable of more, capable of stepping outside the box and succeeding and thriving in life, you begin to lose faith in yourself. You assume that their opinion of you is more accurate then your opinion of yourself. Now, I am not recommending you get a divorce, but to offset that, or simply to boost yourself up – you need to surround yourself with people who DO know you can thrive, and have the faith and the belief in you that Thriving is your destiny. Like brings in like. Surround yourself with those who are like minded and you will all thrive!

The bottom line is that you want to Thrive and have the people around you thrive as well. Now… pay attention here, as this is VERY important…

Allow yourself to thrive and imagine that those around you are thriving as well. Do not be critical of yourself when they are not thriving. Ultimately, the people around you are responsible for their own thriving – but you can lead by example.

Do you remember the old brainteaser, “which leg of a three legged stool is the most important?” The answer is “all of them; without one, the rest will not support you” - and it’s just as valid in life as in furniture. Let’s look at how they work.

Welcoming Change 

If things don’t change and grow, they die. That’s the law of nature. Nothing remains constant in the material world. Therefore, it stands to reason that our lives will change. We will lose some friends and gain others. We will all, eventually, lose our parents and other loved ones. We will fall ill, get well, move here or there, switch jobs, taste both days of joy and nights of sadness and doubt. That is the lot of human existence.

Even with faith that there is a Grand Plan for you, and the ability to look for blessings in difficult times - if you fight change, it makes everything more difficult. So, knowing that change is your lot - isn’t it better to accept it, and actively seek out new joy and prospects coming your way?

As you embrace (rather than fight) change, moving into the heart of the river that is your life, you will save your energy for taking advantage of new situations, rather than wasting energy trying to keep the status quo. You will be like a leaf, gently riding the swells and currents effortlessly, rather than a salmon, fighting her way against the current, and ending up exhausted.

Next time change presents itself in your life, observe how you react. If your first instinct is to shake your head, close your eyes, and tell the change “I won’t!” - try a new direction. Watch what happens when you open the door to change and say “welcome in.”

Finding Blessings In The Darkness 

Hard times can be tough to accept with grace. Even harder is turning them inside out to see the hidden blessings that may be behind a situation.

Let’s look at losing a job - perhaps through a layoff, a change in personnel, or just plain getting fired. It can be a very scary time, especially when those not plugged in to Abundance Thinking try to convince you that “it’s a soft economy, nobody’s hiring.”

Believe it or not, you have just been handed a ticket to

You can apply this in any situation. Whether you must end a friendship, endure a fender-bender, permanently change your diet because of illness or allergy, even lose your possessions in a fire - if you look carefully, something positive will come into your life because of the change.

Even if you welcome change and believe in The Plan, if you forget to seek the blessings in the darkness, the road will be much harder than it needs to be - and there will be countless gifts in your life that go unclaimed. Seek the blessings, and move forward, opening your eyes and heart.

Faith In The Plan 

When we talk of God here, we’re not necessarily talking about a specific vision of God. Everyone, and every religion, has a particular image that speaks to them and is valid. “God” here is the Central Point, the Singular Intelligence, the Principal Emanation of the Universe that sets us all in motion and guides us through Love, the primal energy on which the Universe runs.

We are not chance or random. We are unique, and we all come into this existence with a Plan and a Path, through which our souls learn, grow, and heal, so that when we return Home after this “living dream” we will have come that much closer to Oneness with that Infinite Intelligence. In everyday terms, that means that there truly is a Path under our feet. If we trust in it and follow our intuitive guidance regarding it, we’ll gain our deepest happiness, our greatest opportunities to serve our fellow human beings, and the most peace for our souls.

Sometimes it may appear that we are making a dead-end choice - or we’re just going around in circles, like a hamster on a cage-wheel, scampering furiously but getting nowhere! It is during those times that you most need to “ground and center,” finding a moment to reach up and connect with Source. Let the Love of Spirit calm your mind and heart. Allow yourself the gift of not needing to be in control - of allowing One Who can see much farther than any of us to bring you where you need to go.

Even if you welcome change and see the blessings in the darkness, without that heart-level certainty that Something greater than yourself loves you, wants the best for you, and is willing to help you on your path, you will miss hearing that still, small voice that can aim you in the best direction for your ultimate happiness and peace.

So the next time you find yourself at an uncomfortable crossroads in your life - when you feel like all your plans have been tossed in the air by a capricious and uncaring Fate - go sit on your three-legged stool, and observe your life and opportunities from that perspective. More than likely, you’ll find that you have the best seat in the house.

The petite woman gestured helplessly in front of me, her face twisted with pain and grief. “I got written up at work. They say my attitude’s bad. I’ve NEVER gotten written up before. I’m good at what I do. But I’m just so TIRED of people being nasty to me all the time. Why do I have to be nice to them, kiss up to them? When is it my turn? I want to scream ‘Somebody be nice to me for a change!’ ”

I replied, “What if when you were nice to people you really meant it? What if it stopped being ‘kissing up’ and became something you really wanted to do? For just five minutes at a time?”

It’s easy to be spiritual in serene surroundings, or in tune with like-minded people. But no matter what we learn in meditation class, at spiritual seminars, or from metaphysical books, the vast majority of us can easily shelve such thoughts when we’re “in the world,” especially the business world. We feel inundated by company politics, gossip by the water cooler, more work with fewer people and less time for simple humanity. The fact that “Dilbert” is one of today’s top comic strips is clear evidence of change in the workplace since 1980.
With such an avalanche of challenge, the ability to truly interact with each other in the work-world can be compromised. Sometimes it gets down to the visceral, gritty level of “you owe me/I owe the boss/what do I have to do to climb the ladder?” That’s when we tend to barrel forward: head down, ready to rumble, and woe betide anyone who gets in our way!

This is especially true in a customer-directed business such as retail, banking, or the service industries. Not only do you have to deal with your boss and co-workers, but also there are perfect strangers demanding your time, your attention, your effort - and they probably want whatever they want NOW, no excuses, and don’t forget a smile and a ‘thank you’ because they’re good enough to give you their business . . .!

That kind of world can be a drain on anyone - but it doesn’t have to be. This is where being Awake is important: because with each moment, each contact, you can choose how you react, what you return. You can choose to freely give, instead of feeling “taken.”

It all comes down to turning your thoughts away from yourself, and putting them completely on the other person.

Is this hard? It can be. It involves turning away from our ego, the little voice of “me me me” inside us. This is radically different, the opposite of what the world encourages us to do: “Looking out for #1″ . . . “It’s all about you” . . . “Where do you want to go today?” . . . “Indulge yourself” are examples of the multitude of catch phrases and ad slogans that tell us to put ourselves first. And they push us to be dissatisfied if we don’t get everything that we think we deserve, or are entitled to.

“But doesn’t being Ego-less mean getting stepped on?” some might say. Far from it. If anything, it’s empowering. Try this experiment:

Feel, just for one moment, what it is like to be complete. Give yourself a moment in which you have no needs, no wants, no desires of your own. Nothing is tugging or pulling at you. For just these few minutes, nothing in your life needs fixing. You’re just being. Serene. Easy. Nothing is wrong with you, and nothing ever was. You and your life simply Are, perfect in the moment.

Take that feeling of “not needing anything” and hold it. When you are concentrated in simply Being, the Ego loses its grip a little. The voices get softer.

Now, imagine turning your attention towards another person. Because you need nothing from them, but are complete in yourself, you have everything to give to them. To go to the example of the bank officer at the beginning of this story:

Stepping away from Ego gives the ability to completely concentrate on the person across the desk, to be completely open to what they need, completely loving of them for as long as they sit there. If they are troubled, or angry, the Ego-less person can be completely present for them, because nothing is needed from them - not their approval, not their kindness. Instead, you can give them your approval, your kindness. You can love them from that unconditional place that tells them, “nothing is wrong with you, and nothing ever was. Wherever you are right now, I can be here with you, and I will help you to get whatever you need.” It’s a completely different place from which to say, “Good morning. How can I help you?” Because you will find you really mean it.

Often, people will hear the difference immediately, see it in your face, your smile, the fact that you are “really there behind your eyes” for them. It will help them be Present for you. Your interaction with them will be changed. Even if they are still angry, upset, scared, whatever - when you come from that place of giving in your own heart, you will find that you don’t take in those upset feelings. You’ll understand that’s simply where the other person is at the moment.

Every day that you do this - turning your heart towards others, giving without worrying about the “me” voice inside - you will find your world changing. People will begin to return the kindness you radiate. People will want to go out of their way to give to you, because you inspire the giving. You will be one of those bright lights that make a true difference in the world.

Even if you only succeed for five minutes on your first day, with one person, it’s a start. The next day, strive for ten minutes…two people. At the end of a week, try being ego-less for a whole hour. It is not easy - I know! But it’s the door that can open up treasures beyond measure.

When you feel you are not receiving enough - give first. Start the flow. And watch the magic grow.